Awakening: It’s Real; It’s Natural
(Mike DePung — Post II.36)
Article Focus: The Fellowship of the Heart (rewrite)
Novel Focus: Passage of Eric and Anne Lafarnge experiencing fellowship with their own Heart, which is individual, and experiencing the fellowship of the Heart, which is shared.
I have sought to make this natural. In some ways, I am influenced by opinions of others. The reason for that is some folks who read my previous version of this novel thought my vocabulary choice would be a challenge for readers. The same people thought people speaking to their Heart or to one another about it just doesn’t work.
Many twenty-somethings who read it responded super positively — well, let me be honest, about seven or eight who actually read the whole novel. I trust I have restructured it in a way that is natural, because if it’s not, then I have had a number of unnatural communications with friends about these very issues.
Ultimately, I want people to know discovering who we are as core Self provides the basis of the life we wanted to come here to experience. However, we choose. I want to make that choice clear at least through one fictional experience.
Here is part of what I have written.
Anne said, “This is no fluke, this speaking to our Heart, awakening to who we really are. I got out of bed and was sitting here before you got to the bottom of the stairs…”
“Which is why I didn’t hear you.”
“Probably, but I knew I needed to try and connect with that voice that’s been around, been whispering to me.”
“What happened?” Eric now sat in the chair next to Anne’s.
“That voice is my Heart. And it didn’t whisper this morning. It was clear, logical, distinct. I heard it. I spoke with it, with that other part of myself.”
“So what did you talk about?”
“I need to think about this more, but basically, I remembered that high school incident I told you about. My ego used that to give me pleasure in being a winner, on top, in control. It just made me feel good.”
“Just to feel good?” Eric took in Anne’s whole frame.
“No, I’m sure it’s more than that even as I think about aloud with you. But I know it’s one reason the senior associate position appealed to me. My heart made me face that.”
“Okay, what else did you hear and speak about?”
“I did realize that ego has been the force that I have chosen to use all these years. I could have called on heart, but that time in high school was when I decided it felt good to beat other people, to prey on them, especially those who thought they were stronger. It felt good to beat Ronald. It felt good to beat Stan Boyle and the other guys up for senior associate. I wanted it so desperately that in some ways, deep down, it was like raking my nails across all of their faces like I did to Ronald. I really think I wanted it just to win. What happened afterwards wasn’t a thought, really. Just win and run with it.”
“That seems to be a pretty significant insight.”
“Yes, it is, and that’s why I’m probably feeling so empty about my position now. But that’s not all. I understood that ego provided power that looks good, but now I feel awful about it. I even called it an inferior power because ego is effective but it left me empty.”
“Is that how you ended? Do you feel empty?” Eric again looked at her and knew the answer to his own question.
“No, that wasn’t the end of it. I told you it’s something big, bigger than ego, way bigger than ego.”
“My heart kept asking me questions. This might sound sacrilegious, but my heart made me face that part of myself, itself. I understand that I am eternal and perfect there, that part of me. I understand I can’t seek to win or do anything else by comparing myself to others, measuring myself from others’ viewpoints. I am my own truth, and I have everything I need to live my truth.”
“Okay, I hear your words but this is like a way bigger feeling than I had.”
“Eric, it’s not a feeling, it’s an awakening, a true epiphany. I am eternal, that one inner part of me. That’s the part that is truth and will…” She paused — no more words as Eric looked at her.
“What? Will what, Anne?”
“Seems like there was going to be more, but that’s when I heard you coming upstairs. I just know that somehow my heart is eternal spirit that is part of me, part of who I am in this body. I don’t know what else. I feel like I want to know what else.” Her eyes fell on the tray Eric had brought up, and her face, shoulders, and arms relaxed and she slumped back in the chair.
“This is exciting. All of this was clear to you?”
“As crystal. Like I said, I know there’s more. I feel kind of exhausted now. How about some of that tea and omelet?” She smiled an him.
“You got it. But it will take me one minute to zap this omelet in the microwave and warm it up.”
Anne understands her own Heart is our piece of eternal Spirit. She has faced her core Self and any doubt about her true identity has been eliminated. She knows that true Self will answer. Anytime. Anywhere.
I have heard of some people claiming they get no answer. If that occurs, they are appealing to Ego. When emotional states like anger, despair, or hatred motivate anyone’s seeking their true identity, they are usually seeking Ego justification for such things. Heart will let us have it, set us straight. Ego will rationalize and justify such negativity, sometimes. Other times it will confuse us by not stirring or directing us to some Heart-substitute of moral philosophy or religious dedication. As Anne understands, “I am my own truth, and I have everything I need to live my truth.”
Heart always answers honest seeking with honesty. Heart is our essence and will neither lie nor deceive.